Under The Log - A Podcast about GORUCK Events and People.

Ep. 01 - Kyle Crutcher - 2021 GORUCK Bragg Double Heavy

March 02, 2021 Ryan Burns, Kyle Crutcher Episode 1
Under The Log - A Podcast about GORUCK Events and People.
Ep. 01 - Kyle Crutcher - 2021 GORUCK Bragg Double Heavy
Chapters
0:10
Intro and Welcome.
1:15
Let's meet Kyle.
3:08
Blake's GORUCK History.
5:35
Why do the Bragg Double Heavy?
7:40
Kyle talks about his training.
10:27
Rolling into Bragg.
13:35
Some of the "harder" parts.
16:48
Transitioning Between Heavies.
17:54
Shameless plug for RuckingChallenges.com.
18:41
The Second Heavy.
23:52
The Darkest, Hardest Parts.
25:19
Going shirtless at Bragg.
26:32
How Kyle's deals with adversity.
29:25
Was there every any doubt?
31:47
Kyle's Takeaways.
35:56
Outro.
Under The Log - A Podcast about GORUCK Events and People.
Ep. 01 - Kyle Crutcher - 2021 GORUCK Bragg Double Heavy
Mar 02, 2021 Episode 1
Ryan Burns, Kyle Crutcher

For links, transcripts, and to connect, visit UnderTheLog.com

In this episode of Under The Log we talk with Kyle Crutcher about completing the 2021 GORUCK Bragg Double Heavy. Kyle went full commit on the Bragg Double Heavy, booking airfare from Utah to attend the event. And, in full-commit fashion, Kyle attacked the cold, wet misery, of Bragg with his shirt off. Well, at least for part of it.

You can see some sweet pics of Kyle at the GORUCK Bragg Heavy on his Facebook page.

As we mentioned in the show, a great way to support this podcast is to visit RuckingChallenges.com and register for this month's event.

If you're interested in the training program Kyle used, check out Heavy Drop Training.

If you're feeling  inspired to do a GORUCK event, you can find upcoming events right here.

Finally, we didn't talk about it in this episode, but if you'd like help training for a GORUCK event, check out these GORUCK Training Guides and our Ruck WOD website.

The Under The Log Podcast is part of The Rucking Collective, a collection of websites devoted to the sport of rucking.

Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

For links, transcripts, and to connect, visit UnderTheLog.com

In this episode of Under The Log we talk with Kyle Crutcher about completing the 2021 GORUCK Bragg Double Heavy. Kyle went full commit on the Bragg Double Heavy, booking airfare from Utah to attend the event. And, in full-commit fashion, Kyle attacked the cold, wet misery, of Bragg with his shirt off. Well, at least for part of it.

You can see some sweet pics of Kyle at the GORUCK Bragg Heavy on his Facebook page.

As we mentioned in the show, a great way to support this podcast is to visit RuckingChallenges.com and register for this month's event.

If you're interested in the training program Kyle used, check out Heavy Drop Training.

If you're feeling  inspired to do a GORUCK event, you can find upcoming events right here.

Finally, we didn't talk about it in this episode, but if you'd like help training for a GORUCK event, check out these GORUCK Training Guides and our Ruck WOD website.

The Under The Log Podcast is part of The Rucking Collective, a collection of websites devoted to the sport of rucking.

Ryan Burns  00:11

Hey gang and welcome to this episode of Under The Log, the podcast where we interview men and women who recently completed a GORUCK event. In this episode, we talked to Kyle Crutcher about the GORUCK Bragg double heavy, an event so wet, so cold, Kyle's feet are still numb. Like, for real.


Ryan Burns  00:38

Before we get into our interview with Kyle, I wanted to let you know that Under The Log podcast is part of a collection of websites called The Rucking Collective. If you want to show your support for this podcast, you can do so by visiting our sister website, ruckingchallenges.com. We've got a really great challenge this month, and you can earn a sweet patch. So show us some love, head over to ruckingchallenges.com today, and sign up, maybe even get one of those fancy subscriptions. But with that, here's our interview with Kai.


Ryan Burns  01:15

All right, Kyle, man, Thanks a ton for coming on the podcast to talk about the GORUCK brag double heavy. I've seen some pictures, I caught some of the videos and I can't wait to actually hear from someone who endured both of these events. Before we get to that though, can you just take a minute and introduce yourself? kind of let us know a little bit about you. Outside of GORUCK sure.


Kyle Crutcher  01:42

I I live in Salt Lake City, Utah area. I currently work as a pharmacist. I've got two young kids, one five year old son and eight year old daughter. We're all active. We like to go hiking and, and snowboarding and skiing and and just my kids are getting involved in all sorts of kind of sports now and it's starting to get real fun. So


Ryan Burns  02:09

yeah. Nice. Yeah. The, like 598 age like that's, that's a fun age. You know, that's that's when my kids started really getting involved in like sports and stuff. And like my boys played soccer. And you know, it's something I grew up doing. So being able to like get out there and share, share those activities with them is pretty fun. So are the kids like you said snowboarding are the kids out on the slopes?


Kyle Crutcher  02:35

Yeah, well, I just it was funny. Like a week right after the Bragg event. I came home and I had some extra time off from work, but I had to burn some PTO. So I actually took them up there. And that was their first time you know when like for four days in a row and you know, young kids they catch on quick. They were zooming down the hill before you know it.


Ryan Burns  02:55

That's so awesome, man. That That sounds like a ton of fun. Yeah. Just takes me back to like memories of when I was growing up. My dad took us ski and like once a year and it was a lot of fun. But hey, we are here to talk about GORUCK and the GORUCK brag double heavy. I'm just gonna assume that you do in the brag double heavy that this was not your first go ruck event.


Kyle Crutcher  03:22

No, it was not.


Ryan Burns  03:23

So So tell us a little bit like how'd you get into GORUCK? And like, what are some of the events that you've done kind of leading up to this point?


Kyle Crutcher  03:30

Sure. Long story short, I used to I played college ball I've always been active my college football that has been active my whole life. But when I got into graduate school, obviously, you know, loss, you know, didn't work out as much got kind of dig got up to like 240 pounds. And then I finally I finally got serious lost a ton of weight loss about 50 to 60 pounds, got in I got into Spartan races. Okay, and then from then I got into Spartan endurance. And then I met a couple of guys and started following them on Facebook. And they were doing these things called GORUCK. Like, what is that? So I saw I started looking it up, you know, three, four months later, I'm signed up for my first tough and, you know, my and been hooked ever since.


Ryan Burns  04:18

Nice when so when was that?


Kyle Crutcher  04:21

It was May 25 2019 tough class 3043. So it was a good time. It was good.


Ryan Burns  04:30

It's It's funny, like Spartan is that was my gateway drug as well. Like, you know, I went out and I ran a couple of those. And then one day I was at the gym and somebody was like, Hey, man, so you're doing smart things like you should check out this GORUCK thing. I'm like, Okay, cool. And, you know, this was this was way back in the day when like, you know, you couldn't really Google and find much about it. And you know, as I got closer, I found a little more and I was like wait, wait, what what did I just No.


Kyle Crutcher  05:02

It's definitely a different animal.


Ryan Burns  05:04

So So prior to brag, like had you done a heavy Have you done an HTML or anything like that? Or was it just straight into the double? No, I


Kyle Crutcher  05:13

had I had my first heavy was I did an HTML, the Seattle HTML. Last year in August, was my first heavy and first HTML so nice. I figured if I was gonna do a heavy I might as well just do the toughened light.


Ryan Burns  05:29

Yeah, yeah. That's, that's awesome. So So when it comes to, to brag, so brag itself as the heavy it's, I mean, it's known as the king of all rocks in the community, right. And this year golra. I mean, they just totally upped the ante by offering Bragg is a double heavy. You know, everyone that that knows about GORUCK in the events knows that the Bragg event is just, I mean, just the single heavy is no joke. It's it's something that the Cadre take really seriously the fact that it's at Bragg, which is so important to so many of them. And now, you know, they're going to make this thing into a back to back event 20 to 24 hours, like, talk to me about like, what made you want to do this? Like, why did you look at this and go, Oh, yeah, I'm blind. I'm buying a friggin plane ticket from Salt Lake to fly. To do this.


Kyle Crutcher  06:31

A brag was, has been on my bucket list for you know, ever since I started GORUCK. I've noticed like all these, you know, people gotta do brag. I do brag. I'm like, what's brag? So then I looked it up. And I was like, I watched a few some videos and some, like, a are in resume hours on it. And I'm like, Yeah, I want to do that. So a brag heavy has been on my bucket list. After I completed the HTML, back in September or August. I was like, man, double heavy would be cool. So when Brad came up as a double heavy, I was like, I'm doing it. I got to do it. So it was a good way to not lose it. That was it. Yeah.


Ryan Burns  07:14

Man. So So talk to me about like training for this. You know, like, did you first off, I guess, did you did you? Like how far out from the event Did you sign up?


Kyle Crutcher  07:29

I signed up. Probably about four or five months in advance.


Ryan Burns  07:34

Okay, so four or five months ahead of this event? You're like, That's it? plane ticket going brag double heavy. Yeah, talk to me about your training. Like how do you how do you approach going into a 48 hour event? You're gonna rock 80 plus miles. It's at Bragg. It's just gonna be brutal. Like, like, how did you train Kyle?


Kyle Crutcher  07:55

I honestly I had after completing the HTML, I was like, Okay, if I'm gonna do this, I need to up my training game because before I was just doing my own little thing, you know, I was I was going for, you know, for rocks, nothing dig, I would do my own 12 mile time GORUCK You know, every now and again. I had purchased my very first sandag actually, just a couple of months before my HTML. And then after doing that, I was like that. That was pretty rough. Might that HTML up in Seattle, but so I decided I needed I need to get a better training plan. So I was I stumbled I'm sure you've heard of a heavy drop training. Yeah, yeah. HDD. So I was looking at that and Pathfinder I ended up going with HDT and I you know, I'm still doing it. It's an awesome program. It will get you if you're if a heavy is on your list that will get you prepared for it, but I was just kind of just doing the workouts going heavy, you know? So


Ryan Burns  09:00

is his HDT remind me that? Did they also do weightlifting and stuff like that? Or is it all sandbag and ruck based


Kyle Crutcher  09:09

so they have a bodyweight version of bodyweight ruck version, a sandbag and rock version and the sandbag rock plus which is basically preparing you for selection. But I don't really have the time to do the plus version I really want to but right now I just don't have the time so I just been doing the sandbag and rock and man it it's legit.


Ryan Burns  09:35

Okay, so so obviously you completed the double heavy. So like looking back on your training. Is there anything that you would change or the as you went through, you're like, you know what, this was a weak area. I probably should have done more of this. any of that.


Kyle Crutcher  09:57

Honestly, probably over Head holds the you know, you know, every you know, find the bottom of a squat and hold your rock over your head. You know, nobody likes to hear that. But yeah, overhead holds, you know, they get everybody so that's that's been a weak port for me.


Ryan Burns  10:15

Yeah, I hate overhead which is probably why it seems like that's all we ever do. So Alright, let's talk about this. You get off the plane. Yeah, yeah heading to towards Bragg. It's It's the day of the event. you're rolling up into Bragg. You're getting ready to get started. And the event starts like, like, kind of talk us through what was going through your mind kind of right up into like that very first like, Alright, here we go.


Kyle Crutcher  10:53

I was just trying to keep my mind clear. I wasn't trying to think about anything. I was just trying to just just show up, do the work, you know. Just keep my mouth shut. You know, I've done some events with some people they you know, chitter chatter back with a Cadre and and I'm just like, No, no, this is all business here. So I just tried to keep my mouth shut. Listen, do what I'm told. Do the work and get through it. And that's pretty much how I rush.


Ryan Burns  11:21

So any any nerves like like, nerve level, like rolling in and like starting to see people rolling in starting to see Cadre starting to maybe see like a pile of sandbags.


Kyle Crutcher  11:32

Oh, yeah, that. So pulling into the complex. I started getting a little nervous going through that, though. I don't know if you've ever been deprived, but then you have to kind of travel through that this little woody area before it opens up into the complex. But uh, and when I saw everybody already there, because I thought I was getting there a little early. And there were people that had camped out there. I was like, Oh,


Ryan Burns  11:58

that's different.


Kyle Crutcher  11:59

Here we go. So yeah, the nerves definitely kicked in the butterfly started going and of course, you know, I had to find the bathroom before.


Ryan Burns  12:06

Yeah, shoot, man. Okay, so you get there. You got some nerves. You're seeing the people? Did you? Did you know anybody else that was doing it? Or were you just kind of flying solo,


Kyle Crutcher  12:18

I was flying solo on this one. I had met a few people doing HDT that were there. So I kind of knew them through Facebook posts and chit chatting but I was that's pretty much there by myself.


Ryan Burns  12:32

Okay, so event starts. And, you know, I'm sure there was a really enjoyable welcome party. At what point kind of once you start doing the work like, at what point does it dawn on you like what you've gotten yourself into?


Kyle Crutcher  12:55

Probably when all the Cadre start yelling at you to move faster to move with purpose to you know, and it's like, okay, it's go time. But if it kind of this one, you know, they they surround you they start talking a little bit they kind of give you a little background of each Cadre, they give you the background of where we're at what it means to them. And then it's it's more it's kind of like oh, it's okay, calm and then and then and then it goes from zero to 100 just bam


Ryan Burns  13:28

Oh, these guys sound pretty nice. Um, so talk us through some of the evolutions like you know, just what were some of the harder more miserable things that you encountered and had to had to go through it in that first heavy


Kyle Crutcher  13:52

the doing all the wads I mean really wasn't that bad. I I was in pretty good physical shape coming into this so the winds were that bad that the log PT you know, you hear about it. You see us like, really? You've got all those people Under The Log? How hard can Oh my god. Those that? Yeah, log PT where we had to mark we had to walk around the complex with this log. I would say the log PT was probably the most brutal part. At least in the first heavy


Ryan Burns  14:25

Yeah. And so these these aren't just like your your standard issue logs, either those those are like telephone poles, right? Yes. Yeah. Like how many people do you have on on one of those?


Kyle Crutcher  14:37

I think we had a good try about 20 people on each log


Ryan Burns  14:41

who and and i know you kind of lose track of time, but like how long were they working you on those?


Kyle Crutcher  14:48

So the sun was up the next day when we were working on though so we were approaching the 20 hour mark.


Ryan Burns  14:55

Man so So log PT was was pretty brutal. And then you said you had to like take them for a walk?


Kyle Crutcher  15:03

No. Yeah, we did the log PT and then we had to take them for pretty sure that inner loop that we had to do in the complex was probably about a quarter mile. Okay, maybe a little bit more. I can't remember. But it was it felt like forever.


Ryan Burns  15:21

So, obviously, it was a beautiful, beautiful weather. Nice, nice and sunny and warm. Like, no, what was it like 14 degrees or something like that overnight.


Kyle Crutcher  15:34

The first the first heavy the weather. It was miserable because it was just raining for like the first five or six hours straight. It was just raining. And then it got a little cool. It didn't get as cold in the first heavy as it did the second one though, but okay, it dropped down to the low 30s into the 20s I believe. Yeah,


Ryan Burns  15:58

and y'all were y'all are wet. I mean, I saw at least some you know, they were just tossing you in the mud puddles, and all that stuff kind of all the time.


Kyle Crutcher  16:06

Yep. We were wet pretty much the entire time due to rain puddles. Whatever. I mean, my feet were just wet for 48 hours. Just wet. Still still still recovering from trench foot today.


Ryan Burns  16:19

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh,


Kyle Crutcher  16:22

my toes are sets. Well, there's they're not none. They're tingly now. So the feeling starting to come back. And here we are a month out.


Ryan Burns  16:29

a month out and you're still kind of recovering your feet. Wow. Yeah. That's intense. Yeah, it


Kyle Crutcher  16:36

was pretty intense.


Ryan Burns  16:40

Yeah, that's, that's got my brain kind of reeling. Wow. So let's let's talk about this. Obviously, it's a double heavy, you know, they put you through the work you're, you're grinding on under that massive log with your team. So you you you complete the first heavy. Alright. Not everybody did that y'all. Y'all had some drops and some some, some folks that had to come out because of medical reasons and stuff like that. Talk to me about, like, the feeling of completing the Bragg heavy, going into that break period, and then having to restart again. I mean, obviously, this is a rollercoaster ride emotionally, you're the high of finishing the mental aspect of like, Okay, I get a break the physical like, yes, I'm not getting abused right now. And then having to ramp back up and sign up for another 24 hours. Like, talk me through that transition. Hey, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking about hitting that 15 second skip button. Come on, man. Give me a shot here. Yeah, I'm gonna talk to you and ask you to visit RuckingChallenges.com dot com again. But hey, brothers got to make money somehow. When you sign up at RuckingChallenges.com dot com, it helps me keep this podcast alive. So do your part. go sign up for this month's challenge. Do the work Erna patch, show us some rocking chairs RuckingChallenges.com dot com head on over there. And while you're doing that, we're gonna get back to our interview with Kyle.


Kyle Crutcher  18:32

So we were at the end we get patched. And then I immediately had to think okay, because I really wanted to just kind of throw my stuff down, go around talk but and kind of mingle, get wore, but I literally got my patch, grabbed my rug, went to the car. And I was debating whether or not I was going to stay there. Just change and you know, try to get some sleep. But I was like, No, I got it. My room is about you know, it was about a 15 minute drive. From the complex. I was like how I just do that. So I went back to my room, and I took a shower and I tell you what, that was the most awesome but yet grueling thing. Because you get in the shower, you're like, you don't want to get out. My feet were like totally numb, they, you know, I should have warmed him up slower. But like when that hot water hit him, like all the blood rush to the fee and it was the most painful thing. And but other than that, it's so great. I didn't want to get out of the shower. That was the most grueling part. So but after I got dressed, went back to the car, you know, I didn't stop really moving. I think that's kind of like I didn't lay down.


Ryan Burns  19:50

And yeah, as soon as you told me that you went back to the hotel. I was like, dude, that's like the danger zone. That's a trap.


Kyle Crutcher  19:56

Yeah, I didn't touch the bed. I was like, I'm not laying down. Back to my car got back to the complex. And then I had probably about 20 minutes. So I ate, you know, ate some food. Got my would you would you eat? So I brought actually some chicken noodle soup, it's a good, easy thing to get down. It has a bunch of carbs and salt and all that stuff. So I just dive down to can a couple of cans of chicken noodle soup ate a protein bar. Got back at it.


Ryan Burns  20:29

Nice.


Ryan Burns  20:31

So So now you're you're walking up to the second heavy. Like what? Like, what is your mentality still just that like I'm here time to do work? Or you is there like this sense of dread? Like, is there any doubt going in through your head? Are you just like, Alright, what you got?


Kyle Crutcher  20:53

Pretty much. Yeah, I was. I was good. I was like, okay, that's one. One more to go. And I, I'm a weird, I'm weird. I don't need a lot of sleep. My wife talks about it all the time. She's like, You're crazy. It's like, you'll go to bed at 12 o'clock. And you'll get up at five to go work out and I'm like, man. So I mean, it's awful. I do pretty well with no sleep. So and then other than, you know, just being in that moment just kind of got me pumped. I was like, Yeah, I just completed a brag me, let's go for a double.


Ryan Burns  21:30

Nice. So you you're you're kind of amped up going into number two. Yeah. That's cool.


Kyle Crutcher  21:36

I tell you what I wasn't happy about is the amount of people that were showing up for the second one, because I was like, wait a minute, there's not that many people.


Ryan Burns  21:45

So so I know I've done I've not done a double heavy. It's totally on my to do list. But I've done the HTML. And it's like, at the end of the heavy. They're like, Alright, who's coming back? And you know, everybody raises their hand and then you go to the top and you're like, Wait a second. Where's everybody go? What was it that kind of thing? Like, where, where it seemed like there was gonna be a big turnout for number two, and then it was a lot less.


Kyle Crutcher  22:13

Yeah, yeah. They They asked, like, Who's gonna show up for the second one? And of course, you know, there was people that were like, No, no, I'm not coming back. Yeah, then there was some that raised their hands. You know, it wasn't a lot. I was like, okay, that's a decent number. And then when roll call was going on, I was like, What is this?


Ryan Burns  22:31

So So What do y'all What do y'all start with? It was like, it was just over like 20 or 25. Something like I think it was 21


Kyle Crutcher  22:37

that ended up starting the second.


Ryan Burns  22:40

Okay. And so you start and and they just go right to town on you again.


Kyle Crutcher  22:46

Yeah, yeah. Well, the first the first event, you know, they kind of introduce themselves. But the second one, there was only three. Three people that were coming in fresh. So


Ryan Burns  23:00

Oh, so that they allowed fresh bodies? Yes, I get one. Yeah.


Kyle Crutcher  23:03

So it was kind of set up. Kind of like an HTML, but they allowed people to, at first it was originally scheduled to be just a just strictly, you know, you show up, you get what you dealt with, with the people, but then they changed it where it was two separate events that you could sign up for one interesting. Yeah.


Ryan Burns  23:24

Wow. So three fresh bodies. That's, I feel like that would at least be like okay, well, at least we got three fresh bodies.


Kyle Crutcher  23:32

Yeah, exactly. But then, oh, I was just gonna say the first of the start of the first event there. It was a little bit more of a slower start the second one it was like, Okay, this is who we are. Let's go.


Ryan Burns  23:49

And so obviously, like the the whole event a whole double heavy, putting them back to back. Bragg, king of all rocks. Like, as you look back, like what stands out as some of the like, for you, personally, some of the darkest hardest parts. And then maybe talk about, like, how you process that those those difficult dark moments. There


Kyle Crutcher  24:17

was several, the first event we weren't getting the national anthem, right, because we wanted us to sing the national anthem. And of course, you know, I knew, okay, I'll full disclosure. I didn't know the national anthem completely. I knew about 95%. But there's still certain words in there that you're like, what is that word? I can't remember. And so we kept getting in trouble because we were messing up the national anthem. And so we had to do picnic table PT and that was horrible. Caterpillar push ups. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, we were we were on the ground in the rain, trying to do a caterpillar push up. Jason McCarthy's over there just yelling at us. We were down there probably for at least 30 to 40 minutes doing Caterpillar push ups. It was awful. That was that was probably the darkest moment during the first one. The temperature wasn't too bad. But we were doing plenty of PT to keep us warm. The second one, oh, man, it was bad from the get go good. Even They even gave us a full disclosure say, Hey, we're gonna get you wet. So we're gonna allow you five minutes to take whatever you don't want to get wet off and store in your rug. And


Ryan Burns  25:33

is that I feel like I've seen a shirtless picture of you somewhere. Yeah.


Ryan Burns  25:40

You're like, screw it. I don't care. There's 20 degrees. I'm keeping my shirt dry.


Kyle Crutcher  25:43

Right? Well, that's what you know, I was stripping out I took my shit like my, my windbreaker off, I took my, my first layer or my last layer off. And then Jason's walking around saying, You know what? Yeah, I would go shirtless. Cuz you know what, you're gonna appreciate that dry layer. You know, I was like, You know what? You're right. And that's like, what did you know? It's not that it's not gonna be that bad, right? So I took my shirt off and went shirtless. And other than being able to, you know, finally, when I was able to get my layers on, it's so amazing. But I tell you what, between the dirt, the sand, the muck rubbing against that rough, coarse corridor on my back? Oh, man, I didn't think about that. But yeah, it was, it was definitely a an experience.


Ryan Burns  26:33

And so so, you know, like that you're watching the national anthem, you're doing these warm push ups? And you can't get it right. And, and then the second event, just just dealing with the challenge of the second 24 hours, like, like, how do you process that difficulty? Like, when y'all are watching the anthem, and you're like, this is never gonna end this sucks. I can't, you know, probably, you know, having that feeling of like, I can't, I can't do another Damn, friggin Warren push up, right? How do you? How do you get through that?


Kyle Crutcher  27:13

Very slowly, I guess he's just, you just, it is what it is, you know, and you, they want you to do the work. So just do the work. Try next time. It's like, you know, we had a couple of people that were actually foreigners that had no idea what the national anthem was. And so while we were rocking around it, you know, we were told you guys need to teach them the national anthem. So as we're rocking around the complex, and through the puddles, and all that everything we tried to teach them and then like, you give us another chance, all right, sing the national anthem, and we kept messing it up messing it up. And it's just mentally, there was so many mental challenges. And that was a big one is, you know, doesn't matter what we're doing, we're never going to get this right. Even if we do get the words, right, they wanted the melody. Right. And it's like, you know, it's a it's a die die situation. So it's just like, you know, bring it bring it on. So I just, I just got, I have that mind mentality. It's like, you know, what? Screw it. Just,


Ryan Burns  28:23

yeah, yeah, I like, I like that, you know, it's like, I think there's times where in events like this, where you just have to be like, you have to recognize that. Nothing you do is going to be right. Mm hmm. Because you start to get that hope of like, maybe this time, we'll do the push ups. Right. Maybe this time, we'll sing it right. But but that's the thing. You're not. And even if you do, it's wrong. Yeah. And, and so kind of changing that mindset of just, there is no hope.


Kyle Crutcher  28:59

Yeah, that's why I was, I always say, like, that's why I'm a pessimist. You're never disappointed. You know, you think the worst is going to happen it and it is, then you're ready. If it doesn't. Well, it's a pleasant surprise.


Ryan Burns  29:11

Yeah. Well, yeah. So it's like, okay, so for the next 20 hours, this is what we're doing. Exactly. Just warm push ups for 20 hours. Man, so was there ever any doubt that you were completing the double?


Kyle Crutcher  29:33

I had some dark moments like, Oh, my, you know, cuz there was the point where I'm sure it's on. It's on the web. It's on Instagram of me trying to get my shirt on after the welcome party. And I was jackhammering so bad and mentally I felt I was there like, I know the symptoms of hypothermia. I was one would argue I was hypothermic but I felt like I was was isn't quite there, but I was getting there. And I was worried that I was going to get bed dropped. And so I just doubt and then panic started sitting. And then that's why I couldn't get my shirt on. I was like, I was panicking. And so that was probably the darkest moment is like, oh, man, I'm not gonna finish this, I can't get warmed up, I can't stop, you know, shaking, because Jason's over there, y'all stop shivering, stop shooting. And so I would close my eyes and just focus and stop shivering for maybe three, four or five seconds, and then I'll start shivering again. And so. But, you know, that was a dark.


Ryan Burns  30:35

And that's, that's gotta be tough too. Because I mean, to a degree. I mean, that's something that you can't super control. Like you said, you can, you can, for a couple seconds, stop your body's reaction. But but just that snowball of that mental. And that's on top of fatigue, right? So you're just not even thinking clearly to begin with. But to think, like, I'm not going to finish this. Because I can't calm my body enough down to put on a shirt, right? Like, that's a little different than like, you know, you know, I can't do the push ups or I can't, I can't physically perform like, this is like, I can't put my damn shirt on. Like that. That's gotta be Yeah, I was like, really challenged, I


Kyle Crutcher  31:21

don't want to be dropped because I can't get a shirt off.


Ryan Burns  31:25

Sheesh. So I'm kind of kind of wrapping it up. Like, like, I know that like really hard events like this for me. I love it on the back end for what it turns me into, like, like the change that I see in myself, as I look back, as you've had time to kind of reflect on the event and all that you went through and, you know, the sacrifice that you took in training, the the monetary sacrifice to fly out there and get hotel rooms and all that stuff. And and then the physical sacrifice, I mean, like that you're literally still recovering from, like, what do you take away from, from this whole experience,


Kyle Crutcher  32:14

the biggest thing I took away is to how I need to humble myself, I need to and set my pride away, I'm very much a person that you know, wants to do things on my own. And some something as simple as helping me get my shirt on. I you know, instead of asking for help, no, I was sitting there struggling and struggling, struggling until one of them, you know, the Cadre stepped in and said, somebody help him, you know, because we, you know, he we had talked about this that we know it's not it's, it's okay to ask for help. And that's one of my biggest faults is like, you know, I can do this, I can do this myself. I need to just humble myself, and you know, set my pride away. And if I need help, ask for help.


Ryan Burns  33:02

Man. So that that's awesome. Like, that's an awesome takeaway to the that easily gets applied and all of life. But man, I think, like, in an event like this, and any GORUCK event like man, that that's a great. A great point. And it's something that I see a lot. Is that pride, and how ultimately, when you're prideful, it impacts the team. Oh, yeah. Like, there's so many times where I'll be on an evolution and you know, you see somebody struggling, and you're like, you're and you're feeling good. And you're like, Hey, man, let me just take your rock for like, five minutes. Yeah, I'll double rock. I'm feeling good. That five minutes of a bodyweight walk is gonna give you what you need to keep going.


Kyle Crutcher  33:55

Absolutely.


Ryan Burns  33:56

But man, it is so hard to turn that rock over


Kyle Crutcher  34:01

it. Oh, yeah. Yeah.


Ryan Burns  34:04

Like, you don't want to be that that person that's like, you know what, you're right. I can't carry this rock for another five minutes. Like, thank you.


Kyle Crutcher  34:12

That was that exact same thing happened to me with another. I wish I knew his name. It was in the first having we were running laps. And he could run and I finally said, Your Give me your rock. I'll run with two rocks. You just run, you know, and he didn't want to give it out. And I literally had to rip it off his back. Yeah. And so I'm like, Here, take it easy. Just go.


Ryan Burns  34:37

Yeah, gosh, but man that pride gets in our way. Yeah, it does. And it ultimately impacts the team. And I, you know, I think I think that's such a great lesson learned and hopefully something that more folks will learn as they go through events and, and you know, I'm hopeful for myself that when I hit those moments, because you know, I know my weaknesses and events. The that I'll be able to say, you know what, you're right for the sake of the team, I do need you to do this for me, so that we can get on to the next thing. And then there's going to be those points where you are stronger and you can perform and you can come alongside that person. That that that's hurting. Man, I that's a really great takeaway, Kyle, thanks for sharing that.


Kyle Crutcher  35:22

Yeah, no problem.


Ryan Burns  35:25

So that that, uh, that wraps it up, man. Congratulations on the double heavy. That's just friggin awesome. I appreciate you being on the show. And you know, we'll we'll keep in touch. And you know, next time you do something big and crazy. We'll we'll have you back on and talk again.


Kyle Crutcher  35:41

Sure, it won't be long.


Ryan Burns  35:43

Do you have anything you have anything on the radar?


Kyle Crutcher  35:46

Yeah, I got team assessment and pre selection on my on my radar that I want to do. Maybe, maybe not this year. But yeah. I'm gonna make it to one of those.


Ryan Burns  35:55

Awesome, man. Well, I can't wait to talk to you about it.


Kyle Crutcher  35:58

All right. Well, thanks for having me.


Ryan Burns  36:04

Hey, thanks for listening to this episode of Under The Log. I had a great time talking to Kyle today. And if you'd like to see shownotes a transcript for the episode or links to stuff that we talked about, like, you know, video of Kyle trying to put a shirt on, visit us at Under The log.com. And while you're there, you can find links to our social profiles. We'd absolutely love to connect with you online. And if you haven't already subscribed, why don't you go ahead and subscribe to that podcast wherever you get your podcast from. If you're digging on the content that we're putting out, it'd be really cool if you leave us a positive rating. And, you know, that's it for me. We'll see you next time Under The Log

Let's meet Kyle.
Blake's GORUCK History.
Why do the Bragg Double Heavy?
Kyle talks about his training.
Rolling into Bragg.
Some of the "harder" parts.
Transitioning Between Heavies.
The Second Heavy.
The Darkest, Hardest Parts.
Going shirtless at Bragg.
How Kyle's deals with adversity.
Was there every any doubt?
Kyle's Takeaways.
Outro.